Today, now already 3 years ago, at 02:05 Central Europe Time, my beloved Wife and Life Companion, Ginny Lynn Gilbreath (born in Austin, Texas - USA - on December, 11th, 1964), died, after six months of terrible agony and many years of - sometimes - unspeakable pain and suffering. She left this World alone, because I was sleeping, in a lonely bed of the Hospital of Legnano (MI), with Quiet Dignity, during her sleep, and leaving me the "burden" to go on, alone, through this Life I spent the past three years living a Life made of Memories, Sadness, Studies and Meditation. And, sometimes, quiet Desperation. Many things are now different, but others, I know, never will. One, in particular, just like I wrote two years ago, shall never change: my True, Pure and Endless Love for a Creature who deserved a lot, and, instead and unfortunately, received only a little bit of happiness and peace during Her "Earthly Passage". I dedicated the poem that follows ("The Tide" - originally written in German, by J. Witt and P. Heppner) to that Day, December 5th of the AD 1993, when I met Her; I dedicated it to Her Neverending Memory, and to the Countless Sacrifices that she made, with the deep and Holy Hope that, some day, one day, we shall meet again. Certainly not on this Earth, but somewhere else ("irgendwo", in German). Perhaps in another Universe, maybe in another Reality. The Tide If I don't feel any Peace anymore, inside me, And I feel that bitterness which, once again, surrounds my Dark Heart, And so I stop, and wait, for tomorrow to come, And wake me up... And if the Darkness covers my Clear Look, No sense will be able to cool my Desire, That, now, I call again, Like a Dream, That will never come true.... And so I scream, in the Night, I pray for a Miracle to happen, Which might make the World I live in, A better World, But another World, I know, I will not have... But when the Tide shall rise Over me, When the Tide shall come, To break me, And when the Tide shall return, To take me away, Then, I will finally start, again, With a Brand New and Great Life, Anywhere, Somewhere else... All my Time goes by so fast, That every trace of me, like dust, gets dispersed, And then blown away, so far away, By a bare and Invisible Hand ... And up there, in the Universe, so cold, There's not even a single Star that shines for me only, And what I see, now, is just a dark light that, Like a Flare, lost in the Night, Burns for an endless Time... And so I look at the Sky, above, Swearing at the stubborn Time that runs away, And I create a whole World of Hope and Illusions, A New and Better World, for me, But another World, I know, I will not receive... But when the Tide shall rise Over me, When the Tide shall come, To break me, And when the Tide shall return, To take me away, Then, I will finally start, again, With a Brand New and Great Life, Anywhere, Somewhere else... And now I yell, at the World, All my contempt, And I beg, on my knees, for a new One, A better One to live in, But another World, I know, shall never come... But when the Tide shall rise Over me, When the Tide shall come, To break me, And when the Tide shall return, To take me away, Then, I will finally start, again, With a Brand New and Great Life, Anywhere, Somewhere else...
A New Reality, that shall - God willing - give us Peace, Happiness and Love for the endless Time that we will then have in our hands then: Forever, and Ever. Amen. - Dr Paolo C. Fienga (PhD) |